Nigeria’s Money Magicians – Tribune Online
If the case of the four teenage ritualists who beheaded 17-year-old Sofiat Pelumi and caught burning his head in Abeokuta, Ogun State left you deeply perplexed, you’re in good company. . History has captured the national imagination, and treaties are still being crafted to document our social slide, the breakdown of family and cultural values, and the abdication of humanity. In Nigeria, monetary ritualism means occult manipulations to earn money; in short, money magick, a form of obscure practice aimed at creating sudden wealth. In this article, I unmask the various facets of money magick in Nigeria and show that the legendary “money ritual” that Nigerians obsess over is just the lowest level of money magick in Nigeria. money in this richly blessed but criminally run country.
Do we have a federal republic of ritualists? Take a ride with me on the money train. But above all, know that today’s generation is all about money and fulfillment. O po yeye, o po pa! (It’s hearty, it’s hearty to breaking point!), exclaims the company, and there’s no time to wonder how the money is made. As pop singer Davido said in the spirit of the times, “Life is about money.” Now, the first facet of the silver ritual in this country is crude demonism (RD), the kind that uses human parts to mint silver. It was the practice that allegedly sent Timothy Adegoke, an MBA student at Obafemi Awolowo University, Ile-Ife, to Hades, and the kind responsible for the Ogun case. It is the lowest form of money magic in Nigeria, which is why ritualists are never among the richest (women) men in Nigeria. The operators work in code: they dare not show themselves in broad daylight.
Then you have politics, the main province of monetary ritualism in Nigeria. Politicians reap the biggest billions in the country. A current and overly wealthy billionaire presidential hopeful reportedly lived in a two-bed apartment in 1998, just before the military handed over power. Today, he rules the world of money magic through the world’s most despicable theft mechanism: politics. If becoming a billionaire overnight through politics isn’t a ritualism of money, then what is? The magic of money in politics has three facets: budgetary rituals, security votes and the awarding of contracts. Legislators collude with members of the executive branch to mint money in magic numbers. Strangely enough, a governor once caught in a ritual moment of cash stuffing hard currency (proceeds of crime) into his robe recently swore to sign the death warrant of a thief who kidnapped and killed his student to win money. Irony! At an advanced level, both the aspiring executioner and the suspect are co-ritualists: the difference lies only in the modus operandi. It is a matter of degree, not of kind. They both hunt in the same bush.
The next facet is Crime (C), a thriving industry subdivided into kidnapping and drug trafficking. Kidnappings by Fulani herdsmen fetch billions every month. For example, this week residents told BBC Hausa that 13 villages in the Birnin-Gwari area of Kaduna state were forced to pay terrorists 45 million naira for their security. A man who paid 200,000 naira said the ransom was increased by levying each household, with some having to borrow. Also this week, Fulani terrorists abducted 10 people from a farm in Ayede Ogbese in Ondo state, demanding a ransom of 100 million naira. When it comes to drugs, the money flows like a river, and the (women) men in uniform regularly collect commissions from the barons.
Third, we have Religious Mercantilism (RM), which encompasses the church mega-industry. How many lawyers take private jets in this country? They’re probably not up to five. But the number of general overseers in possession of private jets is staggering, and in fact one GO recently bragged that two plots of land couldn’t hold him anywhere in the world, and that he had given away more than 100 cars. The GO system is an extremely lucrative form of monetary ritual; it’s o po yeye basically. GOs own expensive buildings: some cost up to 100 billion naira. Because they are money magicians, GOs drive the most exotic cars in the world, from buggatis to limousines to Lamborghinis. Source of money: Elaborate criminal deals and scams, including book publishing and land grabbing. GOs are real estate masters.
Then we have the Public Service, a real platform for the magic of money. The books of government Ministries, Departments and Agencies (MDAs) have never been correct, and if you doubt my analysis, then tell me how only two officials were able to acquire the 301 houses recently recovered by the ICPC. Through irregular contract awards, questionable expenses, unapproved allowances, payments for unperformed services, and payments without a voucher, officials perform some of the most advanced monetary rituals in the country. News: 27 MDAs failed to book N323.5 billion in 2019 alone.
You want bam bam? Want to chill with the Big Boys? Then join the government regulatory and enforcement agencies that go after Yahoo’s boys and (women)men. According to the report of the auditor general of the Federation, one of them is the most fraudulently managed agency of the federal government. He refuses to comply with financial disclosure rules and wallows in filth. Yahoo boys have better asset inventory – you can easily track their cars, houses, and girlfriends on social media. Finally, you have the oil merchants, illegal refinery operators, an industry run by Niger Delta criminals, military and police, and politicians at various levels. They are the ones who buried Nigeria’s fifth largest city, Port Harcourt, in soot, dispensing disease and death at will. This is the “too much money” industry.
And so my thesis is this: From politicians to ranchers and G.OS, and from civil servants to oil dealers, Nigeria nurtures a vast network of money magicians that would make even Lucifer green with envy. That being the case, it is illiterate to focus squarely on RD (Raw Demonism) operators, the lowest operators on the money magic plane. The surgery must be clinical.